Twenty-Three (I will not be in want)

"Do you find yourself at this very moment surrounded with needs, and nearly overwhelmed with difficulties, trials, and emergencies? Each of these is God's way of providing vessels for the Holy Spirit to fill...opportunities for receiving new blessings and deliverance you can receive in no other way. The Lord is saying 'Bring them here to me' (Matt 14:18). Remain still before Him, and stop your own restless working until He begins to work. What a source - God! What a supply - His glorious riches! What a channel - Christ Jesus! It is your heavenly privilege to trust all your needs to His glorious riches, and to forget your needs in the presence of His riches. In His great love, He has thrown open to you His exhaustive treasury."
-From Streams in The Desert

a ring, a kiss, & three words

now I wear this small silver ring on the most significant finger

and what it says to me when I look at it is this:

that I am saying yes to him; I am promised

and what it says to him when he looks at it is this:

he has made a down-payment on a pearl of great price;

has vowed to give himself to me as a husband

so now when I look him in the eye I see

decades unfurling before us like gentle rolling tides

I see how we dance with one another now

and imagine how we’ll dance when we are old

when I hold his hand or stroke his arm

I realize that this flesh is merely a part

of the whole flesh that will one day soon be One Flesh

I carry the weighty wonder of knowing that

we will be each other’s never-leavers

we’ll spend this entire earth-living life

belonging to one another

and here is how it happened:

after the blessings of fathers granted

and so much careful scheming accomplished,

be took me to a rooftop at sunset

with the expanse of a city not our own stretched out before us

and a room full of a hundred and fifty family-of-God friends

exploring the father heart of God together downstairs

and there was specially commissioned graffiti art

from our dread-headed friend

and a poem in a shirt pocket

a ring in a pants pocket

there were lilies there

and he (my lover, my friend) kneeled before me

when he said, “brooke, will you be my wife?”

there were things we’d saved up for this day

like the first kiss of lips on lips

and the words “I love you”

so that both of these are

forever first of all about commitment

and second about pleasure and romanticism

sweetly co-existing in this rightly-ordered way

do you know how I replied?

mostly it was with squealing

and jumping up and down excitedly

as i thought how this is really happening -

this thing I have waited over a decade for -

and with such a man as this

with whom I entrust my entire being

because he’s a whole lot like Jesus

I found myself unafraid and free to say

“yes, with all my heart.”

now I will kiss him with the kisses of my mouth and

I will love him with my life and my hands and my heart

I will love him love him love him

all the way Home

accept

Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God. (Romans 15:7)

when a thing has been very good, the thing that comes after it may seem to lack in comparison.

when you have loved people very much, the next people God gives you to love may seem hard to open your heart to.

if i am very honest, this has how it has felt for me here in madison. i have been holding the stockbridge boiler room and my family there so tightly in my heart because it has been so good and i have loved so much... and that has translated into resistance, judgment, criticism, a holding at arm's length.

this morning, the Spirit comes and says, "you have not accepted them. it is time to decide to accept them."

in fleshing out the idea of TO ACCEPT, the new king james and american standard versions use the phrase, "receive one another." dictionary.com says:

1.	to take or receive (something offered); receive with approval or favor: to accept a present; to accept a proposal.

2.	to agree or consent to; accede to: to accept a treaty; to accept an apology.

3.	to respond or answer affirmatively to: to accept an invitation

12.	to receive or contain (something attached, inserted, etc.)

13.	to receive (a transplanted organ or tissue) without adverse reaction.

i want to walk out repentance here. and He'll receive praise in that.

cooking for kids

i accepted a new job today. at Big Oak Child Care Center.

i'll be a cook, making 38 wee little lunches each weekday for toddlers and preschoolers. the kitchen, slender and with partial walls between it and the toddler area, will be filled with the sounds of the kids playing as i work. it will be "my" kitchen, my domain. i'll be responsible for planning healthy menus, grocery shopping and keeping the kitchen stocked, as well as making the lunches and cleaning up afterwards.

the place is just two blocks from my house, which means i can walk there (great, considering tim and i will be sharing just one car starting next week). that also means that i can meet a lot of our neighbors, via their small children, which is part of being missionally engaged in a community, which matters to me a great deal.

i'll work from 9-1 Monday through Friday. there are benefits that make my mom feel better. the other staff is great and the working environment healthy and sun-filled. i "have to" take continuing education classes, like cooking classes at Whole Foods (you don't have to tell me twice!).

this is good provision.

thank you, Papa.

i can no more be lost by God than the earth can be lost by the sun

winnebago house | a slice

the counter space in the kitchen faces expansive windows
and in the evening hours that golden glimmering light spreads itself across
faux wood counter tops, making the vegetables glow on the cutting board
while i chop, smell, toss, sprinkle them into dinner form
that i'll sit down to eat with the love of my life after he's come home
sometimes he'll perch on the counter nearby,
carefully chosen melodies streaming from his mac book
and we'll keep company this way
and every day

the spaces are wide here and there is light from every direction
we've got art on every wall that doesn't necessarily match
and it is quiet, 'cept when you can hear the heavy-footed walking
or the father-son wrestling from the flat above us,
mostly only in the early mornings and the evenings

a neighbor to the west and a neighbor to the east
both have magnolia trees with sweet fragrances wafting and
the alley behind us is lined by the backs of darling homes
with top-level units and their tiny little porches
(there are so many baby-sized houses here)
and i wonder about the folks who occupy them and
how we can get them to come to our open-doored home
and engage with the presence of the Lord who reigns here
i want them to come in
to the under-used community flat with it's exposed-brick walls
just waiting, groaning and empty for folks to
dance, talk, laugh, pray their little hearts out in its embrace

this place used to be a meth lab before
it was purchased, gutted, restored, and re-purposed
i'm a sucker for a redeemed house

three months from now the inhabitants of this house
will have almost entirely turned over
there'll be new faces of hand-picked disciples
and intentional investment in the work of community
and the practices of boiler room kingdom-building in full swing
we are standing on the brink of these things
and we are breathless with anticipation

(and maybe,
if i dare to believe that God may so bless me,
i'll be entrusted with some responsibilities
resembling that of an abbess
here)