a disciple who will live that way

in entering into this missional calling and lifestyle, i've spent a lot of time asking the question, "God, do you want me to work?" and the definition of work here has been this: (1) acting as an employee for an employer in the public marketplace (2) having a career, preferably in the field of your college education (3) having a 40-hour work week and (4) going to a place to work and then coming home again. i suspect this is what most people think of when they think of working.

but then jenn corrected me. "that's not quite the right question to ask," she said. "God WILL have you working. the question is 'what is the work You have for me to do, God?'" and then she explained that i have to be willing to hear and obey the answer, whether the answer is to get a job (in the traditional way described above) or to do something entirely different.

i don't own the responsibility for the outcome (pay check, provision, bills paid, material possessions increasing). i only own the responsibility for obedience.

no one can serve two masters (she will love the one and hate the other), and i want to serve Him. He says THEREFORE do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink. because maybe when we're worrying about how we're gonna pay the bills and get food on the table and get back-to-school clothes, something shifts in us and we're serving money again. we can't serve God and money. (see matthew 6:24-25). THEREFORE do not worry.

so i'm asking God what the work is that He has for me to do. i work for Him, after all. He's my boss and my daddy. so if He gives me the work to do, will He not also provide the wages?

He knows what i need before i ask. He clothes the lilies and feeds the birds and i'm worth more than they are to Him. when i seek His kingdom first, i'm choosing to serve Him, not money. i'm choosing to believe Him when He says all those other things will be added to me as well.

i want to be driven to see His kingdom come, not driven to keep my head above water financially. i want to make choices about employment and how i structure my days based on obedience to the nudges of the Holy Spirit, not based on financial planning.

because the foundation has been laid, and it is Jesus, and i want to build on it with indestructible materials, not perishable ones. so that when the fire comes to test it, it'll be found still standing (i cor 3:11-13).

it seems that i'm hearing from Him, more and more, that the work He has for me to do has a lot to do with prayer, and missional engagement with cities, and discipling younger women, and making home for people. and that is work.

the worker, He says, is worth her wages (luke 10:7). He didn't say i'd live in a spacious downtown loft and have a fridge full of gourmet food. He didn't even say i'd have a car or new clothes. maybe i'll eat a lot of beans and rice and have rent money available just 2 days before it's due. but he said not to worry. and i want to be a disciple who is willing to live that way.

so this is what's rattling around in my head lately. i asked Him to teach me about these things, because i sense that i need breakthrough in this area. it seems that He always answers prayers to be taught. the Holy Spirit is SO much better than any Christian Living or Self-Help book. always.

is this irresponsibility? or is this discipleship?