laying in bed with friends

i don't know what it is about me and laying in bed with friends, but it seems to be something i like to do in increasing measure.

to me, it marks sisterhood to be cuddled under blankets, near together, sharing secret places of the heart and talking talking talking, stroking hair and holding hands. and this sort of nearness of bodies and spirits seems exactly like the sort of thing female human beings should do. how we are comforted in these moments, how we come to rest, how we are no longer alone with ourselves.

so i think of spending the night in a bed and breakfast bed with jane and her sister the night before her wedding last summer. and the weightiness of those last moments of singleness with her, as she talked about lars and recalled what it is in him that resonates in her and we joyfully reflected on the goodness of the marriage that would take place the next day. until our eyelids were heavy and we drifted into a deep and unstirring sleep, three little pigs all in a row.

and i think of the times that my married friends have invited me to stay with them for a night when their husbands have been out of town, and we sleep in the same bed because they've become used to sharing by now and they don't like that giant empty space. and for those moments, we can remember back to high school sleepover parties, only now the "boy talk" has matured and is about marriage and sex and big adult decisions, while on the inside we are still in some ways those giggly girls of years gone by.

and i think of the times, when visiting my childhood home in Grand Ledge, i have climbed into bed with my mom and how one never really gets too old to find comfort in that maternal presence as one falls into sleep. it reminds me of the times she would come to me in my own small bed when i was crying, and she would lay beside me and rub my back and comfort me until sleep mercifully came.

and i think of the times when the girls in this house have all piled into my bed (or sometimes chelsea's) together because one of us has a heart that needs some spilling, or because we are just needing the nearness of one another. and there's something about getting into that soft, comforting, close space that brings us more quickly to emotional vulnerability, that communicates that we are in this thing together. we are sisters.

and i think of just last night when W came by and there was girl-talk to be had, so like conspiring sisters we got under the down covers of my bed, and laying there face to face we told our joyful secrets, bisected with laughter, marveled at the dreams of God, and then sent one another off with prayers and hugs.

i'm thankful that God made us this way as women.