a new blog in a new place

looks like i'll be posting, along with tim, on our joint blog from here on out.

www.timandbrookecollier.wordpress.com

bookmark it.

a first

tonight, for the first time, i prayed, "Thank you for bringing me to Madison, Papa"... and meant it.

He took me to Lake Michigan

this morning during our morning prayer time, tim got out the guitar and led us in a little bit of worship, just us two (this is a thing precious, a thing not frequently enough occurring). i laid down to rest on the floor as he strummed, settling into a posture of restful adoration...

then Papa took me to the beach. in my mind's eye, clear as can be, and accompanied by Holy Spirit tears welling up in my eyes, He took me to Lake Michigan. you know that moment, heading west on Lake Michigan Drive when you see the lake for the first time, on the other side of those vintage water treatment plant buildings? at that first sight of that expanse of water, excitement and contentment fills my heart and i know that i am about to be in a place favored above most others.

and those still waters He talks about leading His sheep to... well, He was whispering that He was taking me to my still waters, and they are Lake Michigan. He knows me so well. He gave me a vivid, sensory imagining of a place and moment that are very special to me. because He loves me and He leads me by still waters.

psalm 1:3 was spoken over me prophetically be a near-stranger a couple of weeks ago:
(s)he is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither.
whatever (s)he does prospers.

so Papa has been talking to me a lot about dropping my striving. He reassures me that He has me planted right where He wants me and i WILL yeild fruit in season, but that fruit won't come from my striving. oh, all the controling, managing, franic striving i've been doing since i moved here: in order to make a place for myself here, to show that i'm enough of a misisonary to be supported, and enough of a fruit-bearer to be a worthy daughter.

freely receiving is hard for me. but i'm starting to see that i've got to get this. He's so patiently fathering me.

so this morning i receive an imaginary day at Lake Michigan with my Jesus.

Twenty-Three (I will not be in want)

"Do you find yourself at this very moment surrounded with needs, and nearly overwhelmed with difficulties, trials, and emergencies? Each of these is God's way of providing vessels for the Holy Spirit to fill...opportunities for receiving new blessings and deliverance you can receive in no other way. The Lord is saying 'Bring them here to me' (Matt 14:18). Remain still before Him, and stop your own restless working until He begins to work. What a source - God! What a supply - His glorious riches! What a channel - Christ Jesus! It is your heavenly privilege to trust all your needs to His glorious riches, and to forget your needs in the presence of His riches. In His great love, He has thrown open to you His exhaustive treasury."
-From Streams in The Desert

a ring, a kiss, & three words

now I wear this small silver ring on the most significant finger

and what it says to me when I look at it is this:

that I am saying yes to him; I am promised

and what it says to him when he looks at it is this:

he has made a down-payment on a pearl of great price;

has vowed to give himself to me as a husband

so now when I look him in the eye I see

decades unfurling before us like gentle rolling tides

I see how we dance with one another now

and imagine how we’ll dance when we are old

when I hold his hand or stroke his arm

I realize that this flesh is merely a part

of the whole flesh that will one day soon be One Flesh

I carry the weighty wonder of knowing that

we will be each other’s never-leavers

we’ll spend this entire earth-living life

belonging to one another

and here is how it happened:

after the blessings of fathers granted

and so much careful scheming accomplished,

be took me to a rooftop at sunset

with the expanse of a city not our own stretched out before us

and a room full of a hundred and fifty family-of-God friends

exploring the father heart of God together downstairs

and there was specially commissioned graffiti art

from our dread-headed friend

and a poem in a shirt pocket

a ring in a pants pocket

there were lilies there

and he (my lover, my friend) kneeled before me

when he said, “brooke, will you be my wife?”

there were things we’d saved up for this day

like the first kiss of lips on lips

and the words “I love you”

so that both of these are

forever first of all about commitment

and second about pleasure and romanticism

sweetly co-existing in this rightly-ordered way

do you know how I replied?

mostly it was with squealing

and jumping up and down excitedly

as i thought how this is really happening -

this thing I have waited over a decade for -

and with such a man as this

with whom I entrust my entire being

because he’s a whole lot like Jesus

I found myself unafraid and free to say

“yes, with all my heart.”

now I will kiss him with the kisses of my mouth and

I will love him with my life and my hands and my heart

I will love him love him love him

all the way Home

accept

Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God. (Romans 15:7)

when a thing has been very good, the thing that comes after it may seem to lack in comparison.

when you have loved people very much, the next people God gives you to love may seem hard to open your heart to.

if i am very honest, this has how it has felt for me here in madison. i have been holding the stockbridge boiler room and my family there so tightly in my heart because it has been so good and i have loved so much... and that has translated into resistance, judgment, criticism, a holding at arm's length.

this morning, the Spirit comes and says, "you have not accepted them. it is time to decide to accept them."

in fleshing out the idea of TO ACCEPT, the new king james and american standard versions use the phrase, "receive one another." dictionary.com says:

1.	to take or receive (something offered); receive with approval or favor: to accept a present; to accept a proposal.

2.	to agree or consent to; accede to: to accept a treaty; to accept an apology.

3.	to respond or answer affirmatively to: to accept an invitation

12.	to receive or contain (something attached, inserted, etc.)

13.	to receive (a transplanted organ or tissue) without adverse reaction.

i want to walk out repentance here. and He'll receive praise in that.

cooking for kids

i accepted a new job today. at Big Oak Child Care Center.

i'll be a cook, making 38 wee little lunches each weekday for toddlers and preschoolers. the kitchen, slender and with partial walls between it and the toddler area, will be filled with the sounds of the kids playing as i work. it will be "my" kitchen, my domain. i'll be responsible for planning healthy menus, grocery shopping and keeping the kitchen stocked, as well as making the lunches and cleaning up afterwards.

the place is just two blocks from my house, which means i can walk there (great, considering tim and i will be sharing just one car starting next week). that also means that i can meet a lot of our neighbors, via their small children, which is part of being missionally engaged in a community, which matters to me a great deal.

i'll work from 9-1 Monday through Friday. there are benefits that make my mom feel better. the other staff is great and the working environment healthy and sun-filled. i "have to" take continuing education classes, like cooking classes at Whole Foods (you don't have to tell me twice!).

this is good provision.

thank you, Papa.